Text From Last Night - Posts

BEST.

(774):
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

(215):
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

(919):
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

(214):
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

WORST.

(314):

So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

(310):

ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.

(571):

So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.